Nothing used to get me more jazzed up then when a Kool-Aid commercial came on, and the Kool-Aid Man exploded through a wall with his trademark, “Oh yeaaaaaah!” Well, the perpetual sugary red ring around my mouth from all that Kool-Aid probably added to my excitement, but that’s not the point. The point is, I used to think smashing through walls or other inanimate objects was awesome. But not in my Ford. I don’t spend hours outside in my daisy dukes, hand washing that exterior just to get scratches on it, and I’m sure you feel the same way. Once again, Ford’s got us covered with their Front Park Aid system. I’m breaking the fourth wall and telling you to read on, while we discuss how Front Park Aid works, and why you want it on your vehicle.
Front Park Aid is simple really, far simpler than the notion of an anthropomorphic pitcher full of cherry Kool-Aid (Why was he always so happy? Was he paid a flat rate, or was his financial future tied in to Kool-Aid’s performance? How did he never spill? Am I overthinking it?). It starts with the sensors in the front (and sometimes rear) bumper of your vehicle, alerting you to objects within two feet of your vehicle. The system automatically starts when your car is in drive, and will beep or chime when objects are in that two foot radius. The closer you get, the louder and more frequent the noise becomes. Once you are within 10 inches of the object, the warning chime will become one solid tone. Should the Kool-Aid man have had this sort of technology, there would’ve been fewer smashed walls in the 80s. That is, assuming that he listened to the warning signs. Of course, you too must listen to the warning signs. Front Park Aid doesn’t stop for you, it just warns you. This system is for all my farsighted friends who stop parallel parking when they bump the vehicle in front of them. Also worth note, due to our frigid winters, the sensors can be blocked by snow or ice —or anything else for that matter— meaning keep it clean out there people!
Yet again the good people at Ford have found a way to save both your paint job, insurance deductible, and dignity, from surefire embarrassment. Thanks to Front Park Aid, and Ford’s sensor system, you’ll spend less time playing bumper cars while you park and more time pondering life’s important questions. Like, “Whatever happened to the Kool-Aid Man?” If you have any questions about Front Park Aid, or are just looking for an ice cold glass of the good stuff, give us a shout at Team Ford.